I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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