When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
