Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
