I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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