Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
