Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?