made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.