Just cropdusted the office
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize