He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize