I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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