I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
