big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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