I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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