38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
