How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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