So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
