hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize