and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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