Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
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she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
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Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".