Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
