Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
