it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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