Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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