belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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