My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
