I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize