I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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