I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
