yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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