He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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