Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
