I'm lost and stupid without you.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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