I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
