best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
