paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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