and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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