The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
