Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
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how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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