I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
