this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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