This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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