lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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