And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
