Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is Oprah even human
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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