I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
