I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize