Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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