apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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