you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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