He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
