capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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