Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize