My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
