Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
