would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
