He had one of those small greek statue penises
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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