woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
