Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize