Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
