im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
