Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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