Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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