talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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