She announced her abortion via fbk
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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